Why Women Cancel Dates

Fact of the dating world: the meanings of all canceled dates are not equal. The key as a man, is to be able to determine the difference between when a woman cancels a date on you because she has a legitimate reason, or when she’s giving you some BS answer because she doesn’t really want to go out with you. When you get really good at telling the difference, you’ll never again look like a chump calling a girl to try and set another date after she’s blown you off once before with some lame excuse.

Unfortunately, many women will give out their phone number and set dates with men they have no intention of going out with. Why? They try to let a guy down easily. They are not going to come right out and say, “dude, you’re ugly. I wouldn’t go out with you if you were the last man on earth.” They figure it’s easier just to send you a text or leave a message later on your voicemail, canceling the date and hoping you won’t call her back to make another one because you figured out the reason she canceled was because she didn’t want to see you. That’s why it’s important to know all of the simple tips and tricks I teach in my book to help you determine when a woman really likes you and wants to go out with you, and when she has no interest.

Usually when a woman wants to cancel a date, she will always use some lame excuse about a friend, a coworker, a family member, etc. who has had some emotionally troubling day or event that is so important she has to cancel your date. She usually will not bring up or mention anything about rescheduling your date. Her cancellation message many times will start out with “don’t hate me, but…”

A woman who cancels a date, but who really wants to see you, will bring up rescheduling your date and many times suggest a new day and time or make a new date when she calls you to cancel your existing one. That is a subtle difference that makes the difference. Most guys incorrectly assume that when a woman they like calls them to cancel a date, that she is being honest about why she is canceling. They simply ignore the fact she failed to mention rescheduling. They also find it very odd that they can never get her on the phone again to schedule new date. You must learn to read between the lines. What she says and most importantly… what she does. Her actions. Actions tell her true intentions.

I got an e-mail recently from one of my phone coaching clients. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:

Coach Corey,

Thank you very much for the advice and the news letter/s dude you hit on some key points that I was thinking about, like when you mentioned how the worst thing a man should do is get emotionally hung up on one woman that he just met, that’s exactly what I was doing with the model chick, since she was not directly contacting me my interest level was freakin sky rocketing but like you said “infinite patience.” so that’s what I’m going to do. anyways, Looks like you have been very busy brother. Here’s whats been on my mind lately and whats been going on in my world.

First of all with one of the gals I had set a date with, she cancelled on me 1 hour before the date (not cool of her), she had texted me that day asking if we were still on, I said “of course we are” she said great cant wait to celebrate good news with you. So I was optimistic about the whole situation, nonetheless she cancelled, so I just played it cool and told her no worries, thanks for the heads up. She gave me some excuse that a girl she works with got fired and blah blah blah (typical BS reason). So I said, its cool no need for explanations. there’s always next time. Well lately she has been clicking the “like” button on FB on a lot of the shit that I post. I haven’t asked for a 2nd date as of yet so I’m hanging back its been about 2weeks. So I’ll shoot her a text this week (I would do nothing. She canceled your date and made no mention of rescheduling. That was rude and showed low interest or lack of respect. Only respond to a message from her. If she clicks the like button and you do not respond, she will go further if she really wants you. Your inaction is a challenge to a woman. She starts to wonder if she has lost you to another woman which causes her interest level to go up. She ditched you. Only schedule a new date with her if she brings it up. Otherwise respond to her texts or voicemails with texts that don’t bring up anything about getting together. Chat for a few minutes and then say “It was nice chatting with you, I gotta run, keep in touch.” Make her work for you. You only ask out girls who keep their dates with you and who are excited to see you).

Corey, lately I’ve been seen a trend with women that I’m engaged with doing that shit on FB, clicking the “like” button instead of making actual contact, I remember you mentioned its like them throwing bait, how exactly should I respond to that? Is it like a fucking cue to contact them or what? (do nothing, if they really like you and are not just clicking “Like” because they like what you are posting, they will go further with a text, email or by posting a comment when you do not respond. Its like playing poker. You gotta out-wait and out-wit women so they reveal their cards before you can safely assume that they really like you. Remember, women will make it obvious when they like you).

Same thing for the Model chick, she does that shit too. Only she freakin clicks the “Poke” button. I’m like what the fuck does that mean. The last time she did it (last week) I messaged her saying “Hey hon, I don’t think your supposed to be poking me, In fact it should be the other way around ;)” she replied with “your funny lol, I hope your having a good day.” So that’s all that was said, I think your right tho, she has me on “back up” mode, which I’m alright with, I got other gals that I’m talking to and dating, but she is the one constantly on my mind. I know that patience is the virtue especially with this one (yep, you did the right thing by not mentioning getting together. Plus your comment was funny, naughty and playful-textbook-great job! You must wait for her to mention getting together since she has blown you off several times when you tried to set dates with her).

The other gal I told you about who said we should do lunch when I get into town finally email me her home number. Well the thing is she knew I was going to be in town this past Friday for my other sisters wedding, she knew this since the last time I replied to her a week and a half ago, she emails me Thursday night at 1130 pm giving me her number. Dude Corey, I almost slipped, I had gotten excited and I was going to call her on Friday to see if she wanted do lunch that day. BUT I caught myself, I figured that would have been the old me also portraying neediness, and since she had a week to email me her number, prior to me coming in, obviously I’m not a priority so I haven’t responded back nor called. I’m going to email her probably this Tuesday. I’m thinking I’m just going to say “when’s a good time to call you” then if she gives me a definite time I’ll call her and try to set something up next time I go in. Probably in a week or so (yep, you’re a busy guy with lots of girlfriends wanting to see you. She waited too long to give you her number. By then you had already made plans and you spent your weekend with someone else. You’ll try and see her next time you come to town when you know you can make definite plans in advance).

Well what do you think coach Corey, am I playing my cards right thus far? Like I said that news letter gave me some fucking outstanding insight and knowledge. mainly when you said about not getting emotionally hung up. I look forward to the coaching session on Friday brother. Be easy and take care my man. Thanks for all the time and effort you put in to what you do.


If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com

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From my heart to yours,

Corey Wayne
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur

“In my mind, I’m always the best. If I walk out on the court & I think the next person is better, I’ve already lost.” -Venus Williams


  1. says

    Hi Corey, thanks alot for the light you gave me on this matter. Only I didn’t get one thing. I’ve known this girl for a few months from a common friend and hooked up twice with her, so last time I asked for her number and she happily gave it to me and we set a date, but she cancelled on me twice already with a B.S. excuse. Can that happen? Can she lose interest in me so quickly just because I wanted to get to know her better? By the way, she brought up rescheduling but not with a definite time, she said ‘ why don’t we go out this weekend’ and we didn’t set a date. I saw her after she cancelled at a bar with our common friend, we didn’t really exchange many words but I had to go. I had to see with my own eyes, but it really boggles me, cos’ she’s sending mixed messages, she acts like she’s interested but does the complete oposite. btw, last time, she kissed me.
    My position for now is hold back and wait but I dont know if i’m not going to call her saturday. it’s just stronger than me.
    So if you could clafiry that for me it would be great, thanks alot man. Keep up the good work, good luck.


  2. Frank says

    I had to write and tell you about a situation I played perfectly thanks to your online coaching. I have been on 5 dates with a woman I know from work I had set up the sixth date to be an outdoor concert. When we were having dinner on our fifth date she said she was excited about the concert and wanted to pick up dinner as a thanks for inviting her. I said that’s not necessary but she insisted. By the time we finished eating she said she would call me the day of the show (which was a week away) to arrange which car we would take and coordinate getting together for the evening. After I walked her to her car and gave her a small kiss I had this weird feeling. I realized she wanted to pay for dinner because she was going to cancel. I texted her that night after dinner and wrote “if you need to cancel let me know ASAP”. She texted back that she had no plans to cancel and that she was looking forward to going.

    I called her 2 days later and cancelled the date with her. She didn’t seem so bothered by my cancellation and I read the tea leaves RIGHT thanks to you! I took another woman I have been dating and had a great time.
    It’s been a month and I have not called her or heard from the first woman. Glad I read your website and learned to weed out the time wasters.

    Thanks again,


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