Here’s why you must always go for the kiss at the end of your first dates instead of a hug, or you’ll get rejected! When a woman knows that you like her romantically, but you hesitate to go for what you want, she’ll judge you as being weak and therefore unworthy to be her lover; but she thinks, maybe you can be her friend instead. The only way to know for sure if a woman likes you romantically, is to go for the kiss at the end of every one of your first dates. Women who like you romantically will kiss you back. Women who don’t like you romantically will turn their heads and only give you their cheeks. If you fail to go for the kiss, but instead give her a hug like a friend would, then you walk away from the date unsure of whether she likes you or not. She walks away either thinking you’re too weak to make a move, or that you only like her as a friend. Imagine going out on several dates without going for the kiss. Then, after you’ve blown several hundred dollars and over a dozen hours of your life on dates with her, you finally get up the nerve to go for a kiss… and… she turns her head! Congratulations! You’ve just wasted several hundred dollars and hours of your life you’ll never get back on a woman you had no chance with! Don’t be that guy! The following is an e-mail from a reader who has had a small crush on a woman he’s known for over eight years. He’s taken her out on two dates, but only gone for a hug each time. It appears she had some romantic interest in him, but he failed to capitalize on several good opportunities. He’s still wondering after all these years if he’s got a chance after recently taking her out for the second time, but still only giving her a hug at the end of the date! My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
First off, your book and daily emails are awesome and they help keep me on top of my game in relationships, and even better, remind me of the man I want to be. Thanks! Now, I’m writing because I have a situation I don’t know how to approach. The history with this girl is this: I had a crush on her in our freshman year of college in fall 04, only saw her very rarely sophomore through senior year. I didn’t see her at all since 08. We’ve stayed in contact with random facebook or twitter comments over the years; nothing worth even remembering. In summer of 2010, I got some free tickets to a concert with her favorite country band at the time, and invited her 4 days before the concert. I invited her via facebook, lame I know, (Women are more attracted to men who have the balls to ask and be direct. It’s better than nothing, but it’s always best to do it in person if you can.) but I’ve grown up, and she didn’t respond in 3 days. So I took someone else even though she responded the day before saying she could go. (Smart man.) Since then, it became a running joke between us; where I’d invite her to something every now and then if I got some good tickets for something I thought she’d like with no real effort for anything else from either of us. (Pay attention to her lack of enthusiasm to get together. That should tell you something about her romantic interest level in you. Signs of low interest.)
About a month ago I invited her to something and she turned me down, but countered and invited me to dinner! (A counter offer date is a sign of high interest. Especially her suggesting dinner.) Stoked! We went and had a great time just catching up on life since college. Our dinner lasted about 2.5 hours at a fairly quick serve sushi bar. I was the perfect gentleman. Let her do 60-70% of the talking and was relaxed as if she was just a friend. During the course of conversation we talked about future plans. I told her I’ll be enlisting in the Air Force in September, and she responded with “well that’s not, like, a deal breaker or… oh god… oops!” and she blushed. (I would have said, “Don’t be so shy honey, bring those sweet lips over here and kiss me!” and kiss her when she does. That sounds like she had some romantic interest in you IN THAT MOMENT, but you failed to capitalize on it. Missed opportunity. You got to pay attention! When women know you like them, but are hesitant to make a move, it conveys you are weak, unsure and insecure about yourself. Not attractive!) Ha ha man, she was cute when she did it too! I ended by picking up the tab, and made a joke about she could pay me back by taking ME to a concert if she wanted to. (That’s something you say to a friend, not a lover or potential lover.) She laughed and we ended the date in the parking lot with a slightly awkward semi-side hug… thing. (Always go for the kiss. You just communicated to her you were thinking friendship, or that you simply got no game with women. Either way, its a turn off. If she would have kissed you back had you gone for the kiss, then you would have known she liked you romantically. Instead you’re left wondering where you stand and spending too much of your valuable and limited life obsessing over what may or may not happen with this girl. You’re giving her way too much consideration before she has earned it.)
So I wait the 3 agonizing days like you say, and texted a follow up to her saying I had a great time with her and we’d have to get together again soon. (You only contact women to make dates! This is a BS unnecessary text.) I get a pretty flat response back of “It was good hearing what God has been doing in your life.” (Translation: “Thanks FRIEND.”) We’re both former missionaries in the baptist church. That kinda perplexed me… why so serious? I let it go because I thought she wasn’t engaged and basically forgot to ever contact her back. (That is correct. She has low romantic interest in you.)
And now 5 weeks have gone by because of several crazy work trips, and we’ve not talked at all since that text. I guess I just have no idea where I sit with her (You did not know the material in my book well enough. That’s why you fail and are confused now. If you would have gone for the kiss, you would have known where you stood. You need to read my book at least 10-15 times so you know the material so well you could teach it. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.) and I’m not sure how to gauge her interest before I ask her out again. I’m not stuck on her or anything, but I do want to get it right in case she could be “the one,” ya know? (“The One” is a myth.) I’m to that point in my life where I’m ready to have a serious relationship moving towards more. (Slow down cowboy. You’ve got to walk before you can run. You need to focus on learning and practicing what my book teaches so you can improve your skills. This is simply one girl out of over 3 billion on the planet.) I want to have the girls I date worth my effort, (That is why you must date women who have a HIGH level of romantic interest in you to start with. It makes dating fun, easy and effortless that way!) and I think this one is but I might just be delusional. The 2 dates I’ve been on with different girls since then have showed me that I’m past the “low hanging fruit” phase of life and looking for better. (You must improve your skills and game with women by practicing! Repetition is the mother of skill. You can’t put your life on hold for any one woman until she’s earned it. You need to keep meeting and dating as many women as you can find so you can practice and learn how to properly seduce women who like you, and tell the difference from those who do not. Then, once your skills and confidence are where they need to be, you’ll meet a really amazing woman, and simply start seeing more and more of her and less and less of the other women you’re dating until she makes you her boyfriend exclusively.)
Any thoughts? (Text her and say, “I’d like to take you out for dinner. What evenings are you available over the next few weeks?” Make a definite date. Then on your date, GO FOR THE KISS!!! If she turns her head and you kiss her cheek instead, it means you ain’t got a chance. Forget her and move on.)
Thanks again bro,
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“Progress always involves risk. You can’t steal second base & keep your foot on first.” ~ Frederick Wilcox