What to do when your girl tells you she wants to take a break & then she starts ignoring you. Most men are totally shocked when their girlfriend, fiancée or wife suddenly dumps them. They often feel like it totally came out of the blue and was unexpected. However, the reality is that the woman was complaining and telling them what was wrong for months, but they simply misunderstood and ignored what she was trying to tell them. For most guys it doesn’t hit them that there is something wrong until after they’ve been dumped. They often think everything was fine right up until the moment the breakup happened. The following is an e-mail from a reader who recently got dumped by his fiancée unexpectedly. She told him initially she wanted to take a break for a few days. This was woman code for, “I want to break up with you permanently, but I’m just trying to let you down easy to soften the blow.” Unfortunately, the damage has been done and the only thing he can do at this point is to walk away and lick his wounds. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
My name is Mike and I’ve been having a problem in my relationship. The talk started when I was in Fort Knox Kentucky for a 2 week army national guard training. My fiancee at the time was talking about taking a break from everything, but she was still going to wear the ring and still talk and be there for me. (Translation: “I’m unilaterally ending our relationship, but I’m slowly backing out of it so it’s not such a shock to you.”) She told me with my kids and their mom situation, my work situation, and her situation, it was too much stress and she couldn’t take it. (Translation: “I am no longer interested in being a part of your life or the lives of your kids and family.”) Well I fought on that a lot, but then I finally gave into the break. (You did not have a choice. NEVER TRY TO KEEP SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT WANT TO KEEP YOU!!! I would have said, “give me a call if you change your mind” and walked away and never looked back. You don’t need this bullshit! You need a woman who is really into you.) She told me it would be 3 days to a week, and if things didn’t change we would try something else. Well, that didn’t happen so it went on since then till now. I pushed to try other things. I pushed for one more chance. (Alpha males do not chase women. Chasing women along with seeking a woman’s approval will always guarantee rejection.) I changed the way I acted towards her because she was saying I didn’t tell her how I loved her and was making her feel unappreciated. (You should never change who you are to please a woman. You must be who you are. She was giving you bullshit excuses for why she really broke up with you. You simply lowered her interest level by acting like a woman instead of a man.) I changed that and I’m changing my life and financial situation. It was not enough for her. (She was already gone dude, way before she even told you she was leaving. You simply did not know what to look for.) At the beginning of the break we talked a bit and we texted a good bit, but nothing like before. Then it started tapering down from there till last night. I really needed her to talk to and she couldn’t take the 2 minutes to talk to me. So I tried talking to her today and she didn’t want nothing to do with me. I tried going and driving 2 hrs to see her and talk to her face to face and she didn’t answer the door. I don’t understand what is happening. Please help me figure this out. (You got dumped because you did not treat her properly. Stop contacting her completely. Wait to hear from her. If she’s not willing to work it out when and if she calls, tell her to call you if she changes her mind and let her walk away. Get busy reading my book and meeting and dating other women. Stick to your guns. Chasing her will only make you look pathetic and weak and confirm she made the right decision by dumping you. Either she makes the effort to work things out, or you’re not interested in settling for a woman whose not going to make the effort to make it work. It takes two! You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
If you have any questions or comments you can post them directly below in the facebook comments system which appears after the end of this article. If you have a question you would like me to answer via email, you can send it to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:
1) Make a donation to my work via the “PayPal Donate” button located on the “Wibiya” toolbar (right hand side) that runs along the bottom of every page of my website anytime you feel I have added significant value to your life. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck… $2… $3… $5… $10… what ever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, videos, emails, newsletters, etc.
2) Referring your friends and family to this website by clicking the Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Google +1, etc. social network sharing buttons located on the “Wibiya” tool bar at the bottom of this page, so they can start learning and improving their dating and relationship life, happiness, balance and overall success in every area of their lives too!
3) Purchase a book, CD’s, home study course or phone coaching session for yourself or a friend by “clicking here“. Download the Amazon.com Kindle version of my book to your Kindle, Smartphone, Mac or PC for only $9.99 by “clicking here“. That way, you’ll always have it with you to reference when you need it most. Thank you for reading this message!
From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“When you meet someone whose soul isn’t aligned with yours… send them love and move on.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer