Never Hold Back In Your Relationships

A great way to get out of your head and into your heart when you are interacting with women you like, is to not hold back and blurt out what you are thinking and feeling. Never assume that the woman you desire, or the person you are talking to understands what you are thinking. Don’t beat around the bush using hints or innuendo to try to get them to infer and figure out your intentions. Confident men are direct and say what they feel. They say what they mean, and they mean what they say.

You should get in the habit of blurting out the first thing you like about a woman the instant you think it or feel it. This morning as I arrived at the gym, there was a new goddess working at the front desk. As I walked in, she smiled and looked directly into my eyes with confidence and the most beautiful, charming and sincere smile I had seen in the past several days from a random woman. She looked very happy and friendly. Without even thinking I told her, “you have a really nice smile!” She replied, “thank you!” and asked me how I was doing today. I made her feel good and she made me feel good. There is a huge difference between someone who robotically says hello to you because it is their job and what they are supposed to say, and someone who is genuinely and authentically sweet and friendly.

So what was the difference between interacting with her and interacting with any other woman? I talk a lot about having effortless relationships. Effortless and drama free relationships happen when both people in the relationship don’t hold back and only focus on giving to one another; and meeting each other’s needs. This is a really huge point I want to make with you. Since most men always project their own high interest level on to the women they find attractive, they completely ignore the fact that most of them give a lukewarm or cold fish response devoid of any heart or feeling. Their reaction to these guys communicates that either a) they are not interested or unavailable, b) they have a closed heart and tend to hold back in their relationships, or c) they are not very happy and are a drag to be around. When a woman reacts to me in one of the three previous ways, she instantly disqualifies herself. I date very happy and upbeat women who have a positive and optimistic outlook on life. Most women you meet are not going to feel that way. That is why it is so important to be yourself and say what is in your heart so you can judge properly whether or not a particular woman is a good catch.

Think about it this way, if you meet a woman who is not very enthusiastic when you meet her, do you really want to spend the first half-hour or hour of your date trying to get her to be happy? The ideal situation is to date only women who have a really good attitude and are enthusiastic around you. A man can never have too many beautiful, charming, sweet and happy women in his life. Love your family, choose your peers. Men and women both are guilty of trying to change the people they love into what they wish they could be, instead of holding out and being patient until the right person comes along. Most people are so fearful of being alone or missing out, that they stay in relationships that are never going to become what they really truly want. You must either accept them as they are, or find someone else to love. When we try to change or ignore what is, we suffer. We want reality or people to become what we want, instead of fearlessly going into the unknown and holding out for something really spectacular.

Women who have their shit together are a blessing, a gift and a joy to be around! There is nothing more soothing to a masculine man, than to be around a gorgeous and joyful woman who just wants to have some fun. Women like this can make a man completely forget all about life’s little problems, and get sucked into their feminine world of delicious ecstasy. Life is hard enough. So don’t spend it dancing with a chick who has a bad attitude. Never hold back. Be who you really are and say what you really feel. Be present in the moment. If you feel a connection between you and her that is mutual, say it without thinking about it. Simply say, “I feel a really strong connection between you and I, and I would love to sit down with you and stare into your beautiful eyes in a quiet and romantic place so I can discover why you fascinate me so much. You really seem like you’re someone special. When are you free so we can meet up for a drink?”

Paint the picture of the vision your feelings of attraction for her cause you to paint in your minds eye. You see her, and seeing her causes you to feel a certain way and to contemplate certain things (naughty things) occurring in delicious ways between the two of you. You are saying and communicating that you feel a certain way around her, which causes you to contemplate magical possibilities happening between the two of you. When you share your vision or your ideas, you invite her to co-create them with you. Being direct and confident in sharing this vision even though you may be nervous and shaking, is sexy to women. Why? Because you were fearless. You take action in spite of your fear. You don’t hold back. If she knows you like her and she likes you, and you don’t hold back even though you are fearful, then you will never hold back your love from her. Remember, feminine energy is all about opening up to receive a man’s masculine love.

Your comfort zone is where you are most uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, if doing the things I talk about in this article scares the crap out of you, then guess what? That is exactly what you should do! You should do what you fear. Even if you get rejected, and you will get rejected, women will appreciate and adore you for having the balls to speak from your heart like a man.

If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com

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From my heart to yours,


Corey Wayne
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur

“The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.”—Jim Rohn

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